Warren Buffett: Tampa Int'l to Palm Beach Int'l on his Gulfstream IV

Warren Buffett going to Palm Beach wouldn’t normally mean jack to us except for the fact that it’s actually part of an elaborate plan on his part to get out of going to hell, like polling shows he’s ultimately destined to do. Palm Beach, tragically, is now party to WB’s tawdry sex game scheme in which the Berkshire Hathaway Grand High Poobah tries to—and here’s where it gets sick—make us believe he’s a Jew. Jews, you’ll all recall, can do whatever we want because guess what? We don’t believe in that fiery place. Doesn’t exist. Talk it up all you like, Christies, because for us J’s, it ain’t happening. And that’s why Buffy wants in. His casual little, “Oh, look at me, I’m flying to Palm Beach to hang with my fellow Heebs like I always do” trip is right on the heels of GHP’s visit to Israel, where he just happened to have stayed at the King David Hotel, and just coincidentally happens to be one day before Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. And perhaps a bit too coincidentally, if you ask us; it’s like he’s trying to get us to think that flying to Palm Beach isn’t even something he thinks about but, rather, is totally innate—because he’s Jewish. He might’ve had you all fooled up until now but we’re here to break this party up and say: no dice. Give our regards to Broadway, Buffski. This is one sell you’re not going to make.