There Can Only Be One (Dispenser of Bad Advice)!: The Book (Party)

There’s been a lot of talk about Jim Cramer today. Jim Cramer is an unofficial advisor to Wal-Mart. An artist’s rendition of Jim Cramer is available for viewing on YouTube. Jim Cramer this. Jim Cramer that. Unfortunately we’ve got (at least) one more thing to say about JC, if only by association. Because where there’s Henry Blodget there’s Jim Cramer and last night there was a whole lot of Henry Blodget in our direct line of vision, as we were in attendance for his book party, celebrating the release of The Wall Street Self-Defense Manual: A Consumer’s Guide To Intelligent Investing.

I’m not going to lie to you—the event was no Wall Street Warriors-type deal. No poker. No guns. No Tim Sykes. (There was, however, a rumor that Christian Slater showed up—presumably for the free booze—but I’ve no photographic evidence to back such claims and am therefore hesitant to call it as fact, as (totally) plausible as it seems). But boy was there a small degree of electricity in the room—how could there not be when the man for whom the party is being thrown is so badass that he was charged with civil securities fraud and banned from the securities industry for life and now writes articles for Slate with lines like “[Cramer is] irreverent, madcap, and, yes, even brilliant, in an idiot-savant, freak-show sort of way” and “You watch because you wonder if this is the night he finally has a heart attack, kills someone, or explodes in a tirade of expletive-laced slander”?

Anyway, a drink or two in and Slate EIC Jacob Weisberg introduces Blodget and the book and says something sort of cute about how one of Hank’s “more interesting affectations is that he doesn’t read his own press.” (Laughs all around). Then he tosses in a line about how there’s an old saying that, “There are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and losing money you’ve invested. Henry’s trying to do something about that last one.” (More laughs). Then Blodget takes the floor and tells us that he met Weisberg because he was interested in covering the Martha Stewart trial and Weisberg was the only one crazy enough to let him do it (and made his decision within five minutes of meeting the man no less, which sounds a bit foolhardy on ‘Berg’s part but to each his/her own). (More laughs). Then Jim Atlas joins the fray and the trio tells the crowd to “enjoy the free drinks,” not thinking it necessary to add “but no doggie bags, Slater.” All in all, great material from everyone.

There are more drinks to be had so we move toward the bar where the conversation is about how one might convince Jim Cramer debate Blodget live. I offer that perhaps dangling a piece of cheese on a string and making Cramer run after it, ultimately leading him into some sort of auditorium where, coincidentally, Blodget, a camera crew and an audience are present might do the trick, but my suggestion is ignored. Unfortunately, nobody comes up with anything better, so a request is placed to “put it out on DealBreaker tomorrow”: Why won’t Jim Cramer Debate His Critics? (Consider it put).

We circulate a bit more, waiting for the groupies to fan out of Blodget’s way and make an introduction. Upon hearing the name ‘DealBreaker’ a look of panic spreads across Blodget’s face but he toughs it out, and even manages to ask us if we ever write about Jim Cramer. Since we do, we say yes, and since we’re completely sycophantic by nature, add, “Though we like you better! Even though you don’t have your own bobble head. Have you looked into getting one of those? ” He laughs nervously and completely avoids answering the question which we take to mean ‘no.’ And that’s rather unfortunate because, as we all know, bobble heads sell books.

However, thumbing through my free copy of the book now shows that, on average, no chapter is more than six pages, so that’s got to count for something, right?

Anyway, feel free to leave suggestions per Cramer below or here. The best entry wins a copy of Jack Welch’s Winning: The Answers.

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VS

(No. Contest.)