Dealbreaker

Hey football fans! A fund managed by HRJ Capital, the investment firm that counts Joe Montana and Ronnie Lott among its partners, lost 12.3 percent in those first two heady weeks of August, wiping out almost all of its 2007 gain. (And that’s after rising 12.4 percent through July. Ouch, right?) According to the firm, declines in its Legends Multi-Strategy Plus Fund should be blamed on everyone’s favorite fall guy—subprime. A letter sent to investors dated August 22 contains the rocket science, platitudes and—and correct us if we’re wrong—air of condescension we’ve come to expect of investor letters detailing losses, noting, “The first two weeks of August have brought about an extremely difficult market environment for several of the Legends Funds' managers… What changed in August was the apparent de-leveraging of quantitative equity market neutral funds as a source of greatest liquidity when there was none to be had in equity portfolios.”

Are there jokes to be made alluding obliquely or overtly to Montana and Lott’s careers with the 49ers and, later, with the Chiefs and Raiders, respectively? Probably, but I have no idea what they are because I don’t know jack about football. References to it in pop culture, positions, basic rules and strategies, you name it, because I definitely can’t. It’s not that I have anything against football, I just don’t get it. It’s not easy to understand like baseball, or as fun to watch as hockey, and every time someone’s ever tried to explain it to me I listen for the first thirty seconds and then, involuntarily, start hearing the lyrics to “Margaritaville.” It also seems like it takes a freaking decade to get from one end of the field to the other, what with all the stopping and starting every five seconds. (You can’t argue with me on that point, I know I’m right.)

I’m not proud of my ignorance and I actually am pretty envious of the hundreds of millions of people who seem to derive inordinate amounts of pleasure from the game. I went to the Rose Bowl in 1998 (Michigan v. Washington State); it was fun, but I can’t help but thinking I would’ve enjoyed myself more if I knew what the fuck was going on. This post probably also would’ve been better. (Another point I won’t back down on.)

So what I’m thinking is DealBreaker reader/writer Monday Night Football watching/tutorials this fall, at whatever bar you want, on Carney (who also doesn’t get football, and will therefore be in attendance and taking notes for me when I can’t make it.) When Ryan Leaf’s Leaf Investments (“We overhype and underperform”) goes under, I’ll have something funny, or mildly amusing at best, to say about it.

Joe Montana's Firm Says Fund Declined 12% in August [Bloomberg]