Is probably what corporate financier/thespian John Fitzgerald would say to girls in bars, if he could find the blank space to add “repel females on dry land” to a To Do list already jam-packed with higher-priority pursuits, like acting as the poster child for late-term abortions and bench pressing, by his own estimation, over 1200 lbs, 4 times a week, at LA Fitness. For now, he’s relegated to doing so in this glorious land we call the internet, where totally unjustified arrogance is encouraged, and saying stuff like “I have an MBA from the top school in the country” and was rated an “8.9 on Hot or Not” can get you laid. Or, maybe, not. Here’s one little correspondence Fitzy—who is more than likely a friend and sometime wingman of “golden child” Chip Bierbaum—had with young lady not too long ago.
From: [redacted]Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 11:01 AM
To: [friends]
Subject: Match Nightmare
So I winked at this guy on match.com. Should have known better considering his screen name was "IvyLeagueAlum."
He responds with the following email...
I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore?I went to an Ivy League school - the University of Pennsylvania - for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to school?
What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape? I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise regularly? I am 6 feet tall, 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before byinaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact...
I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for Limited Brands (Bath & Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc). Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?
Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share? I have many others if you care to see them.
Regards,
John
sgnu88 at hot mail
[At this point, John’s latest victim apparently sends “a polite ‘No Thanks’ thru the match system which
sends him the following email: “Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match.
Good luck in your search! Our Portraits didn't match on: Â. Personality.” This was Fitzy’s reaction to the news:]
I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!
Regards,John
You think Craigslist-girl would go for him?
Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World [Gawker]
Posted by hahah, Oct 11, 2007 2:19PM
if this guy is so rich, why is his watch look so cheap?