Dealbreaker

The SAC/Jiang/Tong thing is starting to make the Kenny Chesney/Renee Zellweger marriage sound "normal".

So a female trader at Enron (back in the day) goes to her OBGYN and complains of lethargy. Her Doc says, "After the blood tests were studied, we determined you have a low testosterone level."

"But I'm a woman!' says the Enron trader. Doc says, "Women have some levels of testosterone naturally. I am going to give you a shot now and some cream to rub in later to bring that testosterone level back up to "normal".

The womans asks, "Are there any side effects?" The Doc replies, "It isn't unusual to have some hair growth during the treatment....."

The female Enron trader goes back to her Doc for a check-up some weeks later. Doc asks her how she's feeling. She replies, "I am feeling great Doc, thanks so much, and I did have a little hair growth that you mentioned..." Doc says, "Where did it appear?"

The female Enron trader says, "On my testicles...."

Only fighter pilots and wrestlers should be "aggressive".

mmmm trannies

My guess is that Mr. Tong will never work on Wall Street again. Thus, he has become incentivized to level as many accusations as possible in order to extract the maximum amount of compensation from SAC.

Whether or not any (or all) of these are true will be up to a jury, or up to Mr. Cohen's lawyers - who will eventually let him know that "Paying Mr. Tong $25 million, along with a non-disclosure agreement, is better than what we're about to set ourselves up for with the SEC/EEOC/ETC."

@ Chris...seems like it's a little late to keep the SEC and DoJ out of the picture, no? the time to settle was before this went public; now SAC might as well fight to the bitter end

Shecky,

I don't get it. Was she already a man? Did the hormones make her grow balls? What does this have to do with Enron?

Whoa!

Hey yo, I got 5 on it that a helluva whole lot more than "tied up" was going on between Piang and Tong.

Check it:
In "Power and Perspectives Not Taken," Adam Galinsky of the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, Joe Magee of the Wagner Graduate School of Public Service at New York University, and Stanford University's M. Ena Inesi and Deborah H. Gruenfeld found that possessing power itself serves as an impediment to understanding the perspectives of others. Through four experiments and a correlational study, the researchers assessed the effect of power on "perspective taking," adjusting to another's perspective, and interpreting the emotions of others.

Ohhh. Hmmm do you think Piang had a hard on for Tong from the jump- since their days back at the Brothers? I do. I think Piang is a twisted fuck who tried to get his rocks off on Tong in all manner of repressed pseudo passive-aggressive poser psyche that when stripped away (he he) reveals an anxious flaming Christopher St. reject now holed up in Stamford, Conn. with refugee status. Whatever. Tong should be dancing all the way to the bank, in one fell swoop he'll most likely treble his highest ever expected payout while at SAC- tax free mind you, and humiliate (out) Piang for the true yogurt gobbler he is (allegedly).

What what...

If Stevie is smart he'll hire the best PR firm in NYC, shove a Suburban full of unmarked hundreds at Tong and hunker down for the coming financial shitstorm that is on the horizon.

Get 'em Cam

"Tong should be dancing all the way to the bank..."

Except that he's now impotent, grown breasts and is a cross-dresser. Somehow I don't think he's going to be booking a net profit at the end of the day.

@4:37 are you fucking high? you don't know shit about what you're talking about. Ping is a weirdo, but he's not a sexual psychopath. Tong, however, is a total fucking scumbag.

@chicks can't trade -

I think you're absolutely right - which is why I also believe that the shot callers at SAC made a very bad judgement call.

I feel it is likely they thought the story was so outlandish that people would dismiss the charges out of hand. Even then, I feel they might have relied too much on a high-powered team of lawyers who (up to this point) have likely been extremely successful in fending off all sorts of allegations against SAC.

I believe that smart people make dumb mistakes - we see it everywhere. Why is it hard to believe that it didn't happen at SAC?

hey Holla Bitch, i love it. We should get together and DP some SAC chics, if there are any...

SAC will soon have to change its name. (That's what all the energy merchants did when they had their scandals after 2002, albeit this scandal is a little different.)

Right now, "SAC" stands for "Strange Ass Clothing" while this story smolders.

How do you make a hormone? DON'T PAY HER!!

Note to most smartest model:

The earlier joke's set up was the need for a woman to have hormone therapy. ( The SAC hormone issues thus caused recall of the joke.) The woman was necessary in the "set-up" of the joke because the punchline was the unexpected result of the therapy. From the literature (Benny, "Crackin' Em and Smackin'Em: Jokes in the Twentieth Century, Rochester Press, 345 pages, $12.00) we find the descriptive mechanisms for humor are often improbable reality results. Further, given the advent of women's power in industry, jokes have had to change with the times. (George Burns, "Reflective Efforts of Humor Within Gender Defined Career Paths", Gracie Press, 234 pages, $45.00)

The Enron reference was designed to acclimate and comfort the reader who frequents this site and has a working knowledge of corporate trading faux pas.

thanks for clearing that up sheckster

My pee smells like burning rubber...

Any thoughts?

@shecky hahaha you should write a blog

Hormones? Well yeah, that's fucked up but it's better than Tysarbi.

"If Stevie is smart he'll hire the best PR firm in NYC, shove a Suburban full of unmarked hundreds at Tong and hunker down for the coming financial shitstorm that is on the horizon."

You obviously don't know Stevie. He'd rather shoot himself in the head than willingly give up a dime. Not from his cold dead hand.