Opening Bell: 11.23.07


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wishbone.jpgEd note: Unfortunately, although we use the plural first person all the time, there's technically just one of us writing the Opening Bell... which means no coinflip about who had to write it today. That being said, we still like a good wager, so yesterday at Thanksgiving we amused ourselves by doing prop bets with our family members: $50 bet to whomever got the better end of the wishbone. After that, we just started snapping random bones we could find to see whose side ended up longer. We ended up +$250, though our high was +$900. Also, seeing as there may not be any news of substance today and there probably won't be too many of you reading, we make no guarantees as to the accuracy, validity, newsworthiness, or actionability of any of these items. It might just be links to stories about shopping -- we're not sure.

Stores Usher in Holiday Shopping Season (AP)
Blah blah blah, economy, blah blah blah, iPod, blah blah blah, subprime, blah blah blah, retail, blah blah blah, discount, blah blah blah, tainted Chines toys, blah blah blah, recession, blah blah blah, upbeat. Blah blah blah, l-tryptophaned.

The 2007 UT-A&M Game (Houston's Clear Thinkers)
We've been pretty down on our alma mater this year (well at least their football team), but the Longhorns have won a number of impressive come-from-behind wins against teams they never should have been behind against in the first place. Last year the 'Horns got spanked by the Aggies, which was humiliating, but this year it'll be different. We can feel it. Just curious: what bar do the UT alums among our readership watch the game at? Let us know in the comments.

Despite filters, tidal wave of spam bears down on e-mailers (USA Today)
Even on a slow news day, this is pretty low. Yes, there's still spam. And what's great is that the piece starts off with that old Bill Gates quote about the eradication of spam, which has probably been used in every other spam article for the past 3 years.

Yikes! (Information Processing)
More depressing stuff about subprime, CDOs, sivs, etc.

American Eagle flight gets stuck in Arkansas mud (Today in the Sky)
From what we can tell, the Thanksgiving travel nightmares never materialized this year... or not really so bad. An averted storm in Chicago helped matters. Anyway, at least one plane got stuck in the mud and was delayed.

Airbus to Cut R&D Spending as Dollar Breaches `Pain Barrier' (Bloomberg)
The Europeans can gloat all they want about the strength of the Euro, but it's not good news for export-heavy firms on the continent. The funny thing is, US politicians haven't seemed to express one iota of concern about the weakness of the Dollar. Basically, it's mainly pundits and bloggers and Ron Paul. On the other hand, Europeans and Chinese have been bringing it up for a while now, which is telling of something. Anyway, some interesting comments from the head of Airbus about how much the company is hurting from the weak dollar.

Megachurches Add Local Economy to Their Mission (NYT)
Interesting piece in the TImes about the business of megachurches, and their efforts at expanding through things like shopping malls, limo services, investment banks, etc. Naturally, some questions arise about the tax-status of all of this stuff and some will be bothered by any firm or organization that achieves "mega" status. Still, we're sure direct economic investment is worth more than just praying for consumer spending to go up, which is probably what most smaller churches are doing to help the economy.

$300 Billion in Write-Offs Is Predicted (NYT)
We saw $500 billion somewhere else, so this $300 billion prediction from the OECD is actually pretty encouraging.

Comments

Posted by David, Nov 23, 2007 8:57AM

I will be watching the UT game with my Countrywide mortgage buddy at his house before his TV gets repoed/he gets laid off.

Posted by , Nov 23, 2007 9:08AM

ha ha bitches...all of you get to be at home with family, watching football, eating leftovers...not me! I am taking the world by storm working today like I never worked before......

Posted by Anal_yst, Nov 23, 2007 9:09AM

Dear NYSE, et Al,

Why do you have to be open today? Is 4 hours of weak trading really worth it, when we could be doing something productive for the economy, like flaunting our blatent consumer whoredom (and/or drinking)?

Anxiously awaiting a response (and change in policy next year),

Anal_yst

Posted by LippyTex, Nov 23, 2007 9:20AM

Even though I was invited to watch the Horns fight the Aggies at a nearby Hooters, I will be watching at home with family instead.

When one mixes Aggies and Hooters, a black hole of dumbness develops and even the power of thought cannot overcome the denseness of the black hole and escape to fruition.

My favorite Aggie joke: A man is standing on Houston street in Manhattan laughing his ass off. A fellow approaches and says, "Hey...did you hear a good one. Man I haven't heard a good joke in a long time. Would you tell me?"

The other man tries to catch his breath and says, "OK...these two Aggies walk into a...." and he is suddenly cut off by the man who approached him.

"Hey!!", the mans says sternly, "Before you begin let me advise you that I am an Aggie....."

The laughing mans says, "OK. I'll go slow....".

Posted by PE sucks, Nov 23, 2007 9:22AM

FT Alphaville reports: European private equity has on average underperformed the stock market in the last decade, according to a detailed survey of the buy-out industry submitted to the European Parliament on Thursday.

The survey contradicted the stereotype of private equity cutting costs at companies and making colossal profits from selling them soon afterwards.

The research – based on data from 6,000 private equity deals and about 1,000 buy-out funds – shows that average private equity returns have underperformed the benchmark S&P 500 share index by 3%, after fees charged to investors.

http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2007/11/23/9124/private-equity-underperforms-market/


JUST AS I THOUGHT

Posted by Going Public, Nov 23, 2007 10:10AM

Private equity is going public, so why do you think that is? Let the suckers buy.

Posted by the balance sheet defender, Nov 23, 2007 10:30AM

PE = destroying a balance sheet for a windfall gain to MDs

Posted by Ebay Seller, Nov 23, 2007 10:43AM

I hope you people interrupt your current programming to report on any deaths resulting from Black Friday stampedes. Or is it too late for that?

Posted by Gig 'em, Nov 23, 2007 11:09AM

Gig 'em, Gig 'em, Gig 'em

Posted by , Nov 23, 2007 11:11AM

I agree, with Analy_st why does the NYSE have to be open today? Let us all have our holiday and support the US economy by going shopping, instead of wasting time in front of this stupid excel model.

Posted by Not Vince Young, Nov 23, 2007 11:36AM

Ringers Sports Bar
415 Colorado St
Austin, TX - Hook 'em horns!

Posted by Wait a minute, Nov 23, 2007 11:45AM

Up 900, then down to 250? That's a minimum of 31 bones snapped. What kind of mutant turkey were you eating?

Posted by BofA Sucks, Nov 23, 2007 12:00PM

I just got fired this morning, I worked all day yesterday, and I was fired this morning....

Posted by inIT4the$, Nov 23, 2007 12:11PM

3:30pm
Hill Country
30 W26th
NYC

Hook'em

Posted by Girl, Nov 23, 2007 12:11PM

I'm also really wondering where to go watch the Aggies roll over the Longhorns in NY. If any of y'all know, please share!

Gig 'em!

Posted by I wanna go home., Nov 23, 2007 12:29PM

NYSE 75 million shares have traded at 12:30.

Why fucking bother??

Posted by BofA Sucks, Nov 23, 2007 12:46PM

My condolences. As much as I love the riches they bestow on me, there are times when I fucking hate big corporations.

Fuck anybody who lays off employees a month before Christmas.

Posted by hookem2003, Nov 23, 2007 12:47PM

Only place to go is Stout on 33rd b/w 5th&6th. Big bar that puts UT on every tv in the place when they are playing. The place is 80% burnt orange on Saturdays.

Posted by , Nov 23, 2007 12:52PM

@ Girl - you went to A&M?

Posted by Nominate me, Nov 23, 2007 12:56PM

The above comment was by me, and was intended for commenter "BofA Sucks".

Still wasted on that nasty combination of turkey and malt liquor.

Posted by jake, Nov 23, 2007 12:58PM

Lots of Texas people (tech,A&M,texas) hang out at Virgil's BBQ over near times square

Posted by Girl, Nov 23, 2007 1:32PM

Born/raised in College Station.

My parents are Aggies/still teach there; however, I went up north for college and just graduated and moved to NY.

I just heard from people that this is the best place to be tomorrow:
t.u. Football Watching Party
The Irish Rogue 356 W 44th St (btw 8th & 9th Ave)

Posted by , Nov 23, 2007 1:46PM

BofA Sucks, thats beyond shitty. Hang in there.

Posted by Kenny Lewis, Nov 23, 2007 1:52PM

Thats just how we here at BofA like to spread holiday cheer, by enabling our former talented colleagues to utilize their tremendous potential to destroy value elsewhere.


Merry Christmas!

Posted by Captain Stabbin, Nov 23, 2007 2:00PM

From a comment on information processing (I'll call this "the truth cums out"):


Look at the info Citigroup just filed with the SEC today: they have $135 BILLION in LEVEL 3 ASSETS.

I have a neat idea.

Why don't we take every single major financial institution out there and then divide their total Level 3 assets by their equity capital base and make comparisons?

This will give us a better idea as to which of them may really remain solvent at the end of the day. Shall we?

Let's have a look at Citigroup. Their equity base is $128 billion. Therefore, their Level 3 assets to equity ratio: 105%

How about Goldman Sachs? Level 3 assets are $72 billion, equity base is $39 billion. Their Level 3 assets to equity ratio is 185%.

Morgan Stanley: $88 billion in Level 3, equity base is $35 billion. Ratio: 251% (WOW!)


Bear Stearns: $20 billion in Level 3, equity base is $13 billion. Ratio: 154%

Lehman Brothers: $35 billion in Level 3, $22 billion in equity. Ratio: 159%

Merrill Lynch: $16 billion in Level 3, $42 billion in equity. Ratio: 38%

Posted by Bernard Guerrero, Nov 23, 2007 2:09PM

Saw that one, Cap. Still looks overblown to me, though. The poster seems to be assuming that all L3 assets will be written down to zilch, which is absurd.

Posted by Bernard Guerrero, Nov 23, 2007 2:11PM

In other news, the wet dude in the drop-top appears to have made a decent call on ETFC.

Posted by anon, Nov 23, 2007 2:12PM

UVa v. VT game for ACC division title? Anyone?

Posted by , Nov 23, 2007 2:16PM

2:09
They need to write down only 56% of L3's to wipe down all of their equity. Not that far of a stretch for imaginary assets after all.

Posted by crazy speculator, Nov 23, 2007 2:18PM

giddy up etfc

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