Morgan Stanley's Anti-Insider Trading Scare Tactics
I haven't worked at a bank for about fifteen years so I don't know if this is standard and I'm just out of the loop but someone told me recently about Morgan Stanley's felony prevention program and I sort of love it. Apparently, in light of the number of finance professionals who have openly admitted to being down with insider trading and the proliferation of groups to support this very cause (not like "let us help you with your insider trading problem" but more "so you want to insider trade? here's how"), Morgan Stanley has created a program where they bring in felons to talk to prospective felons (these being MS employees) about how they once committed felonies AND IT RUINED THEIR LIVES. It's all very "Oh, you thinking about smoking some crack? Maybe just a little in the men's room, take the edge off the morning? WELL DON'T BECAUSE I DID IT AND LOOK AT ME NOW! THAT ONE HIT FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. NOW I CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT CITIGROUP."
But the one thing we wonder is: yes, this whole thing seems like it would be hilarious to watch and we definitely wouldn't turn down an invite to observe the next one taking place, but does it work? Afterwards, are the MS boys and girls all, "Wow, that scared the shit out of me, I will never do anything illegal (again)"? or more, "Yeah, you went to jail but look at this awesome gig you've got now. This is the sort of speaking tour Tim Sykes would kill for, and, I have to say, so would I"? That's an actual question to those of you contemplating insider trading right now. (The other is, to the LEH readers out there, does Lehman have a similar program? Doesn't it seem like something that would be right up Dick Fuld's alley? Can't you see him leaving important meetings early to take part in the sessions just so he can violently get in his employees' faces and maybe throw one or two up against the wall under the guise of "getting into character"? And if the answer's no, would you consider suggesting it, and letting me watch?)
Comments
so awesome
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 11:14 AM
i so hate you bess. really. thanks for ruining my day
Posted by: citi | November 21, 2007 11:24 AM
You haven't work at a bank for 15 years, Bess? Aren't you 23ish? So your drug habit at 8 was so bad that you had to leave the street, huh? Had to go back to 3rd grade and blend in with the rest of the riff raff?
Posted by: Don Quixote | November 21, 2007 11:26 AM
At the start of the presentation it would be amusing to see the utter horror on peoples faces as half the trading floor recognise their local coke dealer, and as emotions and heartbeats have settled then to watch the subtle signs (aka orders) passed between audience and presenter...
At lunch time 2 hours later notice the sandwich delivery guy will have changed from the regular joe to someone never seen before.....
Notice as noise picks up in the afternoon session on the floor...
Oh yes... bring the dealers "inhouse"...
idiots
Posted by: Euro Hedgie | November 21, 2007 11:28 AM
Great! the truth comes out! that why there are no pics, she is forty-five!
Posted by: Mike Cervantes | November 21, 2007 11:28 AM
....even at 45 I'd still do her....
Posted by: A nonny mouse | November 21, 2007 11:30 AM
she is being sarcastic you half-wits.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 11:32 AM
Even if she's sarcastic I'd still do her
Posted by: A horny mouse | November 21, 2007 11:36 AM
SNORT
sniff
"Huh?"
sniff
"Wow, dude, Bess yeah, babe, wow, I mean err buy dude buy, yeah."
Posted by: BS Trader | November 21, 2007 11:42 AM
Seeing how Lehman is the gay investment bank, they are the ones most in need of being scared straight
Posted by: IA | November 21, 2007 11:44 AM
LOL! Read the Senate investigation of the Mack/Pequot issue via Gary Aguirre. Not all insiding trading felons get bagged. The biggest fish are always let go.......
Posted by: The Sword | November 21, 2007 11:47 AM
Great. Before lonleygirl and Bess I had no reason to live. Goodbye cruel world.
Posted by: Dan | November 21, 2007 11:47 AM
Bess, growing up did you watch olsen twins movies?
Posted by: ashley fan | November 21, 2007 11:59 AM
The only way to settle this "is BL hot" issue is for Carney to post pics of her, preferably naughty ones. That way we can all get back to talking about content...
Posted by: Solution? | November 21, 2007 12:03 PM
Giggity.. Giggity... Giggity..
Posted by: ceoandpresident | November 21, 2007 12:10 PM
umm, unless the lady objects...
pledging season at the alma mater is well under way. as a special project i am having the little ones come to the city and conduct a bess scavenger hunt (ie hide in bushes and snap pictures a la "stars, theyre just like us!")
totally benign...
Posted by: HAM'05 | November 21, 2007 12:12 PM
HAM'05, are you being serious? b/c that would be great.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 12:19 PM
DB will never post pictures.
A. it would ruin the fantasy
B. you guys are kooky stalkers
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 12:56 PM
HAM - Great idea! I'm sure Dealbreaker doesn't ping IPs, and Bess could never think of any horrendous but untraceable way to repay your kind attentions. Good luck with the next performance review!
Posted by: Fully Support Stalking | November 21, 2007 01:02 PM
HAM, don't listen to FSS. are you really going to have them do it? b/c if not, i will get in touch w/ the current crop at Duke and see what can be done
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 01:07 PM
Its really the only way to save this market. I think too many of us are paying more attention to BL than we are the fundamentals of the market.
Carney, if you love the markets and America you will post the pics. Its really the right thing to do...
Posted by: Post the Pics | November 21, 2007 01:20 PM
If you dont post BL's pics then the terrorists have won.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 21, 2007 01:51 PM
Yes it is true, Morgan Stanley is bringing in convited felons to employ scare tactics with currentl employees to prevent misconduct! I first heard abiout it a few weeks ago at an SEC coonference in DC. Morgan's Asset Mgmt CCO was talking about it.
Pretty scary if you have to use convicted felons to deter insider trading! Perhaps a better Compliance Dept. is in order or maybe slightly more honest employees!!
Posted by: Pete | November 21, 2007 02:20 PM
Ha ha. Nail on the head Pete, right on the head.
Posted by: Matt | November 21, 2007 02:35 PM
Just imagine Lindsay from Wallstrip when reading Bess's rants and everything will be fine.
Posted by: Comment Poster | November 21, 2007 04:32 PM
I'm the one that leaked this item. So I'm acting like I'm not even interested in Beth, like its all abt j'ism. So to my other fans, it was the COO at the SEC Conf. What I want to know is how much do they pay these felons? Is there a competition for Rose C.'s services even before she gets sentenced. I'll settle for the book deal. Working title: Pillow Talk. As for the druggies being a problem, I would think they might be the most trustworthy.
Posted by: Mr. Accretive | November 22, 2007 03:32 PM