If We're Going To Do This, Why Not Have Some Fun With It?

Posted by Bess Levin, Dec 17, 2007, 5:00pm

I can't be the only one who read the article in today's Wall Street Journal about a group of competitive knitters who are currently engaging in an Assassin-like game but with needles and yarn and thought:

1. Is it possible that this is only appearing on Page One in my copy?

2. The day I start knitting is the day I ask you to put a gun in my mouth. Don't pull the trigger but just put it in long enough so I can taste the metal and the fear.

3. The day I start knitting as a competitive sport is the day I ask you to (pick one) put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, waterboard me, sell me to the Triad's human trafficking ring, set me on fire and put out the flames just prior to death but after 99% of my body's surface area is turned to scar tissue, push me off a cliff.

4. Wouldn't a game of Assassin be a genius (and fun!) way to decide who gets laid off from all these banks? Think about it: performance, what is that? It's very hard to quantify. Also, it must be really hard for some managers to pick who shall live and who shall die. This takes the guess work out. Finally, it's just a straight-up awesome game. Granted, all the times I've played I haven't been fighting to keep my job but a higher stakes game would make it all the more exciting!

Anyway, I'm just knocking around ideas re: more creative ways to get rid of people. Another one is to turn off all the lights for five minutes and let everyone slap whoever they can at will/random. When the lights come on, the people with the reddest faces should be fired. And maybe one having to do with a lethal strain of syphilis (the rule is it can't be treated), but that would probably take too long. Surely you people can do better.

Sock It to Me: Competitive Knitters Get Deadly Serious [WSJ]

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Comments

Posted by NotNasser, Dec 17, 2007 5:12PM

Murdoch takes over and competitive knitting ends up on the front page.

I can hardly wait for next week's big scoop on Australians who love kittens.

Posted by , Dec 17, 2007 5:22PM

best DB post today.

Posted by nothing beats a game of Assassin!, Dec 17, 2007 5:56PM

i'd go with the game of Assassin.

Posted by , Dec 17, 2007 6:04PM

it's how i'd like to go.

Posted by Anonymous, Dec 18, 2007 9:30AM

As one of the Sock Assassins in Sock Wars, our fun is apparently your loss. At least the socks that "killed" me are now keeping my feet warm and I've made new many new fun friends, too. If more people in the world went to war with socks, we'd all be much better off. :-)

Posted by TheWilk, Dec 18, 2007 12:53PM

You sound like a bunch of fun. I'm sending you a set of needles and some yarn and enrolling you in Sock Wars III. You'll have to find your own gun, sorry.

Posted by Liz, Dec 18, 2007 3:13PM

Actually, some days, knitting is one of the things that prevents me from putting a gun in my mouth. I agree, though, that perhaps "Sock Wars" didn't rise to the level of a first-page mention; on the other hand, there's a lot that's been on the first page of the WSJ that probably didn't rise to that level either.

Posted by Anonymous, Dec 18, 2007 3:18PM

I hear Blackstone will be having a crab-eating contest - the loser gets fired.

Posted by Frenchy, Dec 18, 2007 4:39PM

Sock Wars is small potatoes (and evidently shrinking), but why so bitter about knitting? Knitting is a growing hobby, with significant growth across all age groups. See info & stats here: http://www.craftyarncouncil.com/know.html

Posted by Adrianne, Dec 23, 2007 3:17AM

This article seems not funny, but sort of trite, as in, "oh knitting, only grannies do that and you won't catch me in granny panties. Har har har." If you want to criticize, then point out how silly it is to compare knitting a sock before your competitor does with assasinating someone before they assansinate someone else. A little drastic, no? Perhaps it could be the speedknitting race instead of Sock Wars. And, what does firing people have to do with knitting? I guess this is a satire intended to prove how silly it is to transfer the assasin idea to knitting; just as silly as it would be to transfer the idea to HR. Except that knitting is supposed to be fun and entertaining, HR is not.

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