Getting You Promoted, One Pair Of Assless Chaps At A Time (Provided You Work For Larry Robbins)
The Wall Street Journal has one of those paint by numbers articles today about how it’s inappropriate to dress casually in the office. It’s full of helpful information like “don’t wear ripped jeans that haven’t been washed in three weeks and smell like wet dog” and "Take off your cock ring before you come to work, unless you plan to 'liaise' with your secretary that morning." So it’s not *entirely* useless.
But my issue is that it seems to be addressing idiots. People who don’t get why cargo pants might not be the best choice to roll up to an interview wearing (full disclosure: I don’t either). Toilet cleaners who are just trying to get by without getting fired. And that’s not you, the highly affluent DealBreaker audience that advertisers love. You’re moving up, or at least you’re attempting a vertical climb and since the Journal won’t belay you up there, DealBreaker will. I’m going to tell you a secret someone once told me: talent doesn’t matter. Same thing with initiative and work ethic in general. All that matters is the clothes, and remembering three words: act as if.
Are you a P&L analyst at SAC looking to impress the grand poobah by mimicking his sartorial picks? You wear a zipup sweater, cookie crumbs, no pants. Bottom feeder at Blackstone? Fine Italian suit with bib. Nobody at Merrill? unitard. Interning for Brian Hunter (unpaid, college credit only)? Shroud yourself in a cloak of failure and call it a day. You get the idea. Now, who’s ready to start dressing the part and making a name for himself?
Comments
Just wondering... how many people actually shower before going to work? I sure as hell don't.
Posted by: jag | January 31, 2008 01:38 PM
i was always under the impression the crumbs on steve's shirt were from crackers, not cookies. Now I just don't know.
Posted by: SAC p&l analyst | January 31, 2008 01:41 PM
Just wondering... how many people actually shower before going to work? I sure as hell don't.
Posted by: jag | January 31, 2008 01:42 PM
any background on the glenview reference?
Posted by: anon | January 31, 2008 01:44 PM
background on the glenview reference: l-train wears assless chaps to the office.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 01:48 PM
If you volunteer on my campaign, you need only wear your love for America on your sleeve.
Posted by: Ron Paul | January 31, 2008 01:48 PM
LOL. classic. brilliant. love that unitard!
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 02:04 PM
Off topic...
Is it just me, or does Erin Burnette look good again? There were 2-3 weeks where she looked god awful (leather suit?!), but this week i fell back in love.
Looks like i'll be buying her rents some trips...
Posted by: 1-2 | January 31, 2008 02:04 PM
@1-2:
Word. Love the red. Margaret Brennan looks amazing in that color as well.
Posted by: Bugs Meany | January 31, 2008 02:08 PM
hey why should't I wear my cock ring to work???
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 02:10 PM
Woke up one morning in Houston with what appeared to be a brown cock ring! When I let out a yell, the hottie from Enron I spent the night with came out of the bathroom looking all surprised and she was putting a pinch of Skoal between her cheek and gum. Whew!!
Posted by: IB Braggin' | January 31, 2008 02:22 PM
you are correct 1-2 at 2:04 pm.....Erin looks delicious. I think maybe, CNBC sprung for a makekup tech instead of and on the job student.
Posted by: watchmen | January 31, 2008 02:55 PM
you are correct 1-2 at 2:04 pm.....Erin looks delicious. I think maybe, CNBC sprung for a makekup tech instead of an on the job student.
Posted by: watchmen | January 31, 2008 02:56 PM
As a client, I only look for law firms that does lose or, for meaningless paperwork that nobody will ever read or work that even an associate can't screw up, young female associates with big breasts who are h/w proportionate and like to have fun.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 03:29 PM
Cock rings? I thought thats what the big bag of rubber bands was for....
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 04:05 PM
Cock rings.... Another example of somthing that originated with gay guys becoming mainstream. Careful guys, when it come to raw pleasure its a slippery slope. Who knows what you supposedly straight boys will start trying next.
Posted by: GAnalYst | January 31, 2008 04:16 PM
@ 2:10 - is there a men's room where you work? We need the handicap stall. There are a lot of us.
Posted by: L. Craig, J. McGreevy and M. Foley | January 31, 2008 04:17 PM
Don't worry there's a pretty big leap from putting a latex band around your rig to putting it in another man's ass.
Posted by: Straight PM | January 31, 2008 04:35 PM
Would someone explain the origin of the Larry Robbins ref. I dont get it
Posted by: gotem gupta | January 31, 2008 04:57 PM
Would someone explain the origin of the Larry Robbins ref. I dont get it
Posted by: gotem gupta | January 31, 2008 04:59 PM
Would someone explain the origin of the Larry Robbins ref. I dont get it
Posted by: gotem gupta | January 31, 2008 05:00 PM
Believe me, many a "straight" guy has taken a related leap (i.e. rig in THEIR ass, to use your term) and had a great time doing so. When you encounter married guys on business trips who are looking to experiment (and there are more of them than you would imagine - next time yr in an out of town Ritz Carlton, check out the sauna in the gym), that's usually the thing they want most. Makes perfect sense - its what they can't get at home.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 05:01 PM
why is bess always hating on rich guys? daddy issues?
Posted by: jerome k | January 31, 2008 05:04 PM
5:01
One man putting his dick in another man's butthole doesn't make any sense at all. No offense.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 05:24 PM
Larry Robbins wears high heels and garters at work
Posted by: just saying | January 31, 2008 08:06 PM