Layoffs Watch '08: I Can't Even Get The Words Out
We hear the hideously unthinkable-- layoffs at Goldman-- are happening today. We have no other information*, other than that "the guy sitting next to me was crying." A Jew crying over money-- BFD (follow me into an ATM booth whenever if you'd like to watch this live). Until someone coughs up something interesting, we'll be watching Jiminy Glick clips (February is Jiminy Glick Month). We will begin with the following:
Earlier: The Unthinkable
*We've been assured that the higher-ups who don't read this site (they have their secretaries provide summaries) are all secure. Thank God.
Comments
i heard this is happening today
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 11:43 AM
but remember, GS management kindly said that it is only something like the bottom 5% of performers. So not only do a bunch of insecure, type-A, failure-is-not-an-option people get kicked to the pavement, they also get canned with everybody on the Street explicitly knowing that they were a bottom-fiver. That's pretty rough.
Posted by: Yo! | February 1, 2008 11:44 AM
bottom 5% @ goldman = top 5% @ _______________ ...
Posted by: Anal_yst | February 1, 2008 11:45 AM
top 5% at countrywide, no doubt!
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 11:47 AM
I guess they'll have to pinch their pennies EVEN MORE. Maybe even resorting to....(wait for it) COUPONS! Oh the hawwah!
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:06 PM
oi vey
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:16 PM
Believe they lay off the bottom 5% every year... or at least "review the performance of under-performers." Not all that shocking and still relatively light compared to layoffs at other banks.
Posted by: Inquisitor | February 1, 2008 12:19 PM
i guess by definition we should assume the other wall street layoffs were an egalitarian cross section of performers at their respective firms.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:20 PM
Yeah, 12:20. Unless you happen to be a CDO trader, then you're fucked unless you talk to John Carney about the wonderful opportunities from the DealBreaker Career Center™
Posted by: BSD | February 1, 2008 12:24 PM
No more custom oak dressers. So sad.
Posted by: JD | February 1, 2008 12:28 PM
10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:43 PM
10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:44 PM
10 Large in NYC 5% tax free bonds.
That's MY coupon. Eat me.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:45 PM
Something's cooking at Citigroup. But what?
Posted by: anonymous | February 1, 2008 12:53 PM