This Is War
I worked from home on Friday which was a damn shame because I missed a special delivery that came in a package marked "savory, vibrant, luscious & sweet" but, more pressingly, "PERISHABLE." So I thought it was good fortune that someone not named Blarney had the good sense to put it in the fridge. I thought. After the jump, behold what a certain CNBC anchor and his goombahs sent to the office under the semblance of a gift. I see it more as a threat. Like the fish in the Godfather that signaled Luca slept with the fishes, No Sleeves is letting me know via deli meat that I’m going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point in the not too distant future, one of his associates will be paying me a visit and for what? Merely sharing with the world how he likes to work out, sartorially speaking. You know what? That’s fine. He wants to play hard ball? I’m game, by which I mean watch for the package of week-old lox, coming your way. Vaffanculo, testa di cazzo, Charlie Gasparino.
*If this wasn't a Sicilian message, and just a kind gesture, thanks Charlie. The soppressata looks delicious.
Comments
Oh this is going to be goooood...
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:04 PM
Ah, good to see a Bess post amidst all this Carney blather.
Who's up for pelting Charlie with stale bagels?
Posted by: jag | February 4, 2008 03:06 PM
hahaha
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:11 PM
Just curious, how big is that thing?
Posted by: GAnalYst | February 4, 2008 03:14 PM
that thing is huge
Posted by: good luck bess | February 4, 2008 03:15 PM
brilliant
whose return address was on the package though?
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:15 PM
What girl doesn't like to receive meat?
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:15 PM
andrew ross sorkin is so fucking bitter.
Posted by: ive been at the nytimes for 20 yrs and i've never received so much as a slice of turkey | February 4, 2008 03:22 PM
@3:15 That's what she said...
Meaty!
Posted by: Dick Trickle | February 4, 2008 03:31 PM
BESS LEVIN! I hope to gawd that is a beef supersata.
Oh your grandpa Moishe must be turning in his grave right now, and you a nice jewish girl receiving traif from a goy!
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:31 PM
she wants for breakfast ?
Posted by: Anonymeemous | February 4, 2008 03:32 PM
there used to be (actaully could still be for all I know) a sign in Katz's Deli "send a salami to your boy in the army". I challenge the more creative of you, that would be you 3:31, to reformat that for the current situation. I'm waiting.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:35 PM
Send a sausage to your girl at the office. Duh. Although, for the record, it only works if you say it like my old Yiddish-speaking grandpa.
Posted by: KLW | February 4, 2008 03:49 PM
@3:35 yes katz's still exists and they still have those signs. you can bet thats not a pork salami though!
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 03:56 PM
KLW, I have a sausage (kosher, of course) I"d love to send you
Posted by: Anal_yst | February 4, 2008 04:03 PM
This is WAR peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, every cook will tell you that.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 04:13 PM
But look what happened to the cook!
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 04:26 PM
Going to the mattresses, Bess?
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 04:40 PM
clue rules
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 04:53 PM
A sausage-gram? Awesome.
Posted by: Johnny Canuck | February 4, 2008 05:06 PM
Gasparino's some heck of a cool guy .... nothing says generous and swarthy like sending someone sooprezaat
Posted by: Gaspipe | February 4, 2008 05:07 PM
Gasparino's some heck of a cool guy .... nothing says generous and swarthy like sending someone sooprezaat
Posted by: Gaspipe | February 4, 2008 05:42 PM
that's ugly. looks like a penissss that has cancer
Posted by: Anonymous | February 4, 2008 10:21 PM
is that how you spell that?
Posted by: Anonymous | February 5, 2008 07:56 AM