Jason Linkins obviously has a problem with Maria Bartiromo. We just can’t figure out what it is.

In the opening sentence of his recent column the political columnist for the Huffington Post, Linkins attacks CNBC’s Bartiromo on the grounds that she is getting older. At least that’s what we think he’s saying with his crack about her “collagen injections” being “widely reputed to be a key market bellwether.” The odd thing is that we’ve never heard this reputed, widely or otherwise. In fact, as far as we can tell, no one has ever accused the star of having received collagen injections except Linkins.

But that was a throw-away line that Linkins probably imagines is funny. And harping on off-hand sexist remarks is hardly our thing. What was Linkins real objection? Oh, here it is: Bartiromo said some critical things about Barack Obama’s tax plan.

After the jump, Linkin calls the female anchor “hysterical” (oh those hysterical women!) and then forgets to actually disagree with her.

Maria Bartiromo has a stimulus plan of her own. But it’s a plan to stimulate the selling of assets instead of consumer spending. If you’ve got stocks or homes you want to sell, you should probably sell before Barack Obama gets elected, she seems to say to Avenue.

Today Page Six reports that the Money Honey warned about higher taxes if the Democratic nominee gets elected. “He’s going to take the capital gains tax at 15 percent right now all the way up to 25 to 28 percent,” she says. “Sell anything, like a home or stocks, and make a profit … [almost] 30 percent of the profit will go to the government instead of 15.”

Barack’s Bite [New York Post]

CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo has sold a book about ‘sucess’ for an advance several knowledgable sources said was approximately $500,000, according to Leon Neyfakh of the New York Observer.

This would be Maria’s second book. Her first, Use the News: How to Separate the Noise from the Investment Nuggets and Make Money in Any Economy, came out in 2002. Earlier this year, her CNBC colleague Charlie Gasparino published King of the Club, a book detailing the rise and fall of former New York Stock Exchange head Dick Grasso.

‘Money Honey’ Indeed! [Observer.com]

Millions of viewers rely on Maria Bartiromo for a sophisticated take on the economy.

It’s always sad when couples end things (and you have to pretend to care), but once the appropriate amount of time has past (usually two hours), we must ask the question: who came out on top? Who’s the winner of this breakup? Who deserves my admiration and who deserves my disgust?

If the rumors are true that they were ever even a pair, it’s been over ten months since Maria Bartiromo and Todd Thomson called it quits. Today the Times, under the guise of just being topical and not being US Weekly, casts its vote for Maria, declaring that the CNBC reporter is “is having a great year.” Not just good, GREAT. (Actually, they were going to go with “fanfuckingtastic” but, you know, propriety or some shit like that.) We’re not saying we don’t agree that the $H’s having a banner 365 days, but the story came off as completely one-sided, because these things are all relative, and the only way you’re having a good time is if your ex is having a bad one. We thought the Times knew this, and yet, the story made no mention of what Big T’s been up to. So we will, and only after we’ve seen both sides will we draw a conclusion.

Job Status

Got one, though it hangs in the balance, thanks to competition from “Street Sweetie” Erin Burnett and good times girl Trish Regan

Unemployed

Geoffrey Raymond, the greatest artist of our time, who brought us such masterpieces as “Big Lloyd I (.6 Billion)” (a rendering of Lloyd Blankfein), “Big Jim I: Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine” (Jim Cramer), and “Big Dick I (Hundred Million)” (Dick Grasso), is at it again. This time it’s Maria Bartiromo, whose portrait will be exhibited in front of the NYSE and around Wall Street for the next ten days, and available for purchase on eBay until October 6 (minimum bid is $4,999).

For his latest venture, Raymond chose to interpret the CNBC anchor as the Virgin Mary, which doesn’t seem like much of a stretch to us, if detailed accounts as to what went down on the Citigroup jet and the tips we get from the chippies in our Christian youth group about “how to be a bad girl while maintaining that you’re a good girl at the same time” are to be believed. Raymond, whose work has been described as “early crazy,” also uses the space to weigh in on the alleged friction between Bartiromo and Erin Burnett, because nothing drives the art market like a good catfight. Check it out today (the first 100 passersby will be given the opportunity to jerk off on their favorite part. Credit Suisse employees—you really have no excuse not to).

It’s Monday night and don’t kid yourself, you don’t have any plans. The most action you’re going to get tonight is from the vibrations of the treadmill as you speed walk across the belt (yeah, it’s early in the week so you better get your fanny to Equinox for at least 30 minutes cause you know it’s the only time you’re going to work-out this week). So, after your hard core Monday evening workout, we suggest you put your feet up, grab a Heineken and tune into CNBC circa 9pm. To coincide with the debut of Dr. Alan Greenspan’s publication, The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New World – the delicious dish, Maria Bartiromo has interviewed Dr. Greenspan delving into his “life, career and impact of the most important central banker of modern times.” We say, DVR Monday night football, get out a fresh can of cheese balls and pay close attention. We can’t think of a better appetizer to tomorrow’s main course – the Fed announcement.

Greenspan: Power, Money & the American Dream [CNBC]

The population of China, unable to describe what was going on between Maria Bartiromo and Todd Thomson during their trysts to the Far East, decided to modernize its language.

Respectful of Maria’s status as the Money Honey, Maria and Todd were officially branded “ban tang fu qi” or a “semi-honey couple.” The phrase denotes young, married professionals who live in separate homes or go on long trans-continental flights with one another.

Chinese authorities were pretty pissed when they found out Maria and Todd weren’t married, and no one has the heart to tell the CPC how old the two are (if they ever want to be seen again).

“Semi-honey couple” is just one of the 171 new terms added to the national language registry in China, designed to reflect modern work and life situations. One of the terms added, “fang nu,” literally translates into “house slaves,” and refers to young people struggling to pay off home-loans. A culturally ingrained stigma is one way to prevent a subprime crisis.

Another term, “duan bei,” literally means “brokeback” and refers to male homosexuals. That’s where the Ang Lee movie title comes from, although going from urban slang in Shanghai to cowboys in Wyoming is a pretty significant leap.

“Ding chong jia ting” was officially registered and means “DINKS with pets.” A DINK is an acronym for “double income no kids.” The term refers to an increasing number of married professionals in China who choose a pet over having a child.

Modern marriage, mortgages enter Chinese lexicon [Reuters]

The downside is that Maria Bartiromo hates animals. The upside is that there could be a catfight between the mistress of money and PETA champion Pamela Anderson in the very near future. The $Honey is under fire for posing in a fur-trimmed coat for More magazine’s September issue, featuring “female movers and shakers over 40.”

“Chic, sexy clothes are the real me,” Bartiromo says. “The coat is spectacular; the fur cuffs give it just the right amount of glamour.” Not a “je ne sais quoi” factor, but more of a, “someone got shot for this coat” element that the CNBC anchor loves. PETA spokesman Michael McGraw begged to differ, nothing that “There’s nothing glamorous about animal electrocution, which one of the most common methods used to kill foxes for their pelts. She looks morally bankrupt in that fur.”

Morally bankrupt? Our Maria? That’s a little extreme. Sure she:

• Caused an uproar by flying around on private jets with a now ex-Citigroup executive
• Has acquired a pair of especially fetching nicknames, one in high school (look it up) and more recently, “the Bank Skank”
• Broke Joey Ramone’s heart
• Pulled a fast one on Bernanke on his first day on the job

But that’s mostly just child’s play. And we here at DealBreaker refrain from passing moral judgment on anyone. (And, in the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that Keith loves the way road kill feels on his body, especially if he’s dressing up for a big event.) But apparently some people disagree, so we have to ask “What makes Maria Bartiromo Morally Bankrupt?”

Vote or die, after the jump.

Zealots Rant Over Foxy Maria [NYP]

Notice Maria’s score (and provide a caption in the comments section). Keep in mind that this wasn’t that early in the game.

For those who missed it several years ago, the Money Honey was featured in a May 2004 episode of Celebrity Jeopardy in Washington D.C. during POWER PLAYERS week. A POWER PLAYER is presumably a celebrity with a brain. Fortunately SNL stereotypes held, and Maria outshined the competition, which consisted of fellow TV personality Anderson Cooper and former NAACP President and Maryland Congressman Kweisi Mfume. Maria was playing for the National Italian American Foundation, ensuring that pizza remains an alternative to baby carrots in school lunches nationwide (especially good old fashioned school lunch “Mexican pizza”).

Maria got off to a slow start, not buzzing in on the first 10 or so questions. Taking a breather, she put her spontaneous intellectual bandwidth on display during the meet the players segment:

Alex: What’s the fascination for you and for Americans with finance?

Maria: I think that it’s an opportunity for all of us to know that we can have the American Dream. That we can invest in America, in business and have a feeling that we have an ownership of some business and hopefully watch that investment grow. It’s a (struggling with the next word) democratization of information and investing.

The key words are investment and business. After managing to sound like Ralph Wiggum when he said “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me,” Maria prepares to enter the fray and answer a question. Baby steps.

Maria’s first time:

Category: The Capital, for $100
A: In 1989 hundreds of pro-democracy demonstrators were killed by the military at Tiananmen Square in this capital.
Q: Maria buzzes in and makes a face for five seconds. A five second face, to her dismay, is incorrect. Armed with a functioning buzzer, Maria prepares to actually verbalize a question next time.

Maria does end up getting two questions right in a flurry at the end of the round, and manages to finish ahead of (and look slightly less retarded than) Kweisi, who ingeniously answered that “Montebello” was the name of Thomas Jefferson’s estate instead of “Monticello.”

Stay tuned for Maria’s revenge in Double Jeopardy after the jump, along with the coveted YouTube clip of the entire episode (believe me, you want to know what went down in Final Jeopardy).

You remember Todd Thomson, the guy who got fired from Citigroup for either too loosely spending the company dime on Maria Bartiromo or because Chuck Prince needed a scapegoat to distract people from Citi’s performance (are C shareholders as easily distracted by someone getting canned as Jim Cramer is by his reflection?)? Even though he’s on his I’m-sorry-I-cheated-and-lost-my-job vacation with his family (a safari in South Africa), the old boy checked in with thestreet.com to say that he’s got plans to work in private equity.

Interestingly enough, Thomson told the news site that he believes himself to have “a clean and good track record.” Okay, sure. And getting funds shouldn’t be too difficult, given TT’s “business contacts and high-net-worth relationships.”

Ex-Citi Hot Shot Thomson Mulls a Private-Equity Comeback [thestreet.com]

BP chief Lord Browne has resigned from his post, to be replaced immediately by Dr. Tony Hayward, amidst accusations that he used company money to support (and woo) his partner of four years, Jeff Chevalier. The allegations against Browne include:

• BP resources were diverted for Mr. Chevalier’s use, and he was given computers and technical support staff while a company was set up for him involving BP personnel (Lord Browne is said to have helped set up a company for him to trade in mobile phone ring-tones, with Lord Browne and another executive from BP as directors.)

• A senior member of BP staff was tasked with running personal errands for Lord Browne, including delivering cash to his former lover.

• The BP chief paid for Mr. Chevalier’s studies, as well as a large sum over their four years together.

• Browne discussed EU policy and Chinese textile quotas with Peter Mandelson, the EU commissioner, and Mandelson’s Brazilian boyfriend Reinaldo.

• A flat in Venice bought by Lord Browne underwent repairs for which the building company presented two bills, one with VAT and one without. Mr. Chevalier claimed Lord Browne paid cash to “dodge” his tax bill.

The couple split in 2006 and as went Browne so (purportedly) went Chevalier’s new lifestyle, which would explain how this story got into all of London’s major newspapers (and now: Dealbreaker.com). Browne commented that “In my 41 years with BP I have kept my private life separate from my business life. I have always regarded my sexuality as a personal matter, to be kept private. It is a matter of deep disappointment that a newspaper group has now decided that allegations about my personal life should be made public.”

Some thoughts:
- It’s difficult to actually keep one’s private life separate from one’s business life when one’s business life is paying for one’s private life (say that five times fast).

- This may actually just be a case of the age-old American mix-up: Gay or Brit? And Chevalier is just a (well-compensated) business associate.

- Todd Thomson can’t win at anything.

- If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a thousand times: if you pay for it yourself, you’re in the clear! (Source: Everyday Business, with Wayne Pace).

BP chief lied over affair with gay lover [This Is London]
BP’s CEO to Step Down Immediately Amid Revelations of Private Life [WSJ]

The words “do not engage” come to mind when one finds his or herself in the company of crazy people, relatives and the architects of a hostage situation. We’ve said this before, but every time we write about Geoffrey Raymond and one of his masterpieces, we know we’re veering dangerously into the territory that could get one of us—or you—killed. But the rush, oh, the rush of seeing Dick Grasso’s head in Technicolor, or Lloyd Blankfein’s shiny one walking down Wall Street—it’s unparalleled. Which is why today, we bring you the freakiest dispatch from Raymond’s workshop yet—the $Honey. It’s not so much the picture that has us wondering if maybe we should get someone else to start our car tonight, but Ray’s explanation of it (referring to her as the “Blessed Mother,” a “religious icon,” pretending to be Todd Thomson’s boss…). Ah, well. If anything, this will make “Bob” happy. And that—not our own well-being—is really what it’s all worth. (Let us know if you, too, get the feeling that Maria was tied up in the corner while this video was being shot or if, uh, that’s just us.)

via Crossing Wall Street

We’ve got more details on the Money Honey’s new hive. As we mentioned yesterday, the queen bee of CNBC’s anchors has reportedly picked up an upper east side townhouse for $6.5 million. Now Big Time Listings—a celebrity real-estate blog—has further reporting on the new place. (Including that picture to the left, which seems to be of Maria’s new bedroom.)

Features in the townhouse, which is in Manhattan’s Treadwell Farm area, include four and a half baths, four fireplaces, moldings, hardwood floors, high ceilings, a new kitchen, gas heat, a five-zone central air conditioning system, an ADT security system with two cameras and a flat-screen monitor, new double-windows, an audio system throughout, and all-new mechanicals, according to listing information. Public records show that the townhouse was built in 1899 and measures 3,708 square feet.

Perhaps most interesting is the economics of the place. Maria and her husband seem to have driven a hard bargain, picking it up for less than the asking price. In fact, according to Big Time Listings, they paid less than what the house went for in 2004. No wonder she’s the Money Honey.

More pictures through the links below. And, after the jump, the floor plan.

CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo pays $6.5 million for Manhattan townhouse [Big Time Listings]

Realtor’s Listing for Apt [Stribling.com]

So the word on the street is that erstwhile Citigroup executive and Maria Bartiromo acquaintance Todd Thomson has reached an agreement with his former employer vis-à-vis severance. The bank declined to proffer the number to any media outlets, or even file anything with the SEC, which Michele Leder finds a bit fishy (which, in the parlance of the TT/$H-specific times, seems fitting.) Thomson did, however, tell FT that he’s “very pleased with the settlement” and is “excited to move on to some new opportunities.” We have no idea with package could be—though we heard a while back that the old boy was seeking $25 million. Considering that the cretins took away his pimp-mobile, 25+ seems extremely fair.

(Crossing Wall Street’s Eddy Elfenbein’s line on this: “I was really hoping for the headline, “Thomson Looking for New Partner,” but no such luck.” )

Citigroup settles with Thomson [FT]

CNBC’s Money Honey has a new hive, the New York Observer’s “Manhattan Transfer” column reported today. Maria Bartiromo and husband Jonathan Steinberg have closed on a five-level townhouse on East 62nd Street. The price-tag: $6.5 million, the Observer says.

Here are the details, according to the Observer.

The five-bedroom house, east of Third Avenue, has a second-floor balcony overlooking the 39-foot-long backyard garden, plus a two-camera security system with a flat-screen monitor…

Photographs from the recent Stribling listing show the townhouse as a customarily fancy Upper East Side place with big ruffled curtains and bigger chandeliers. Better yet, the place has four working wood-burning fireplaces, a 32-foot-long kitchen, and a wet bar between the second floor’s dining and drawing rooms.

That puts the Money Honey within walking distance of Lexington Bar and Books, where she can enjoy the Monday ladies night—women get stogies for free. But we couldn’t help but wonder, “East of Third Avenue?”

Sold! “Money Honey,” Hubby Buy $6.5 M. East Side Townhouse [New York Observer]

Occasionally, we have readers who request specific information. One tenacious reader has repeatedly expressed interest in one topic of conversation: Maria and Todd. (Yes, you thought the topic was dead. And it was. But not for a man we’ll call “Bob”.) “Bob” would like more information re: the $ Honey and Todd Thomson and what we’re planning to do about the whole thing; we figured your opinions would help us help “Bob” greatly. Yes, No, Maybe? Do it for “Bob.”

March 19, 2007

Hi Jack Carney and Bess Levin,

Tried to locate a phone on you but, no dice. PLEASE…Please call or write me about the end result of the Maria Bartiromo/Todd Thomson thing. Could it be an illicit sexual affair???? I realize without proof…pictures, video and the like…you’d be open for litigation. I haven’t seen a paper say the two were unfaithful to each others spouses…same medicine. How about Bartiromo guilty of adultery with Thomson.

I believe they had it going. I wanted to hear from you. it was like Maria Bartiromo refuse dto be interviewed…(period) End of story. Todd Thomson could not be reached for comment…(period)…end of story. Anybody think to try again? GOD spoke in the form of CNBC officials: Maria has done nothing improper/wrong….(period)….end of story.

The 11 or 12 trips in the Citigroup jet to places where Maria spoke…probably cool going…but, what do you think they did coming home???? Right.

I won’t belabour this…you helped display the story and we all believe if they were going to fire Thomson over the China jet (the two alone)…then they shoulda fired Bartiromo.

Remember the your post Bess, Date Feb. 27…Bad day at Black Rock.
The cfo referred to Thomson.
The Maria…Bartiromo.

Someone ought to start digging again…and why…WHY…HAVE WE NOT HEARD ANYTHING FROM THE WRONGED HUSBAND?….Jonathan Steinberg. Give him a call at Individual Investing.

Thanks….

Bob

For some reason, lately we get asked a lot about that song Joey Ramone recorded about Maria Bartiromo. A lot. Well, you can listen to the song here. From those Russians who think that intellectual property is theft. Or is it the other way around: theft is intellectual property. Whatever. As long as they keep giving us free music, we find it hard to object.

The lyrics will bring you back to the tech bubble. It’s all Maria on the floor of the stock exchange, and talk about Yahoo, Amazon, Intel and AOL. If Joey Ramone was punk before the Sex Pistols were punk, this song is tech before tech was Google.

Gossip rag Dealbook reported this morning that former and current Citigroup chief execs Sandy Weill and Chuck Prince were seen dining at the Four Seasons yesterday during lunch. From the lede, our interest was piqued. Such a seemingly salacious meal begs for answers, does it not? Unfortunately, the Dealbookies were apparently too classy to take a real stab at what the convo entailed, other than asking the crowd,

Was Mr. Weill’s highly public lunch with Mr. Prince an attempt to show support for him in a difficult time? Did Mr. Prince — who has thus far refused to consider dismantling Mr. Weill’s creation — seek out Mr. Weill’s advice? Or were they just both just hungry?

But, damn it, that wasn’t good enough for us. So we decided to ask a hodgepodge of people in the know what, beyond a couple of $34 bison burgers, actually passed through the duo’s lips. Their answers may surprise you.

Dana Vachon, former J.P. Morgan analyst, Mergers and Acquisitions auteur.

Weill: Sometimes I just feel so old and ugly, Chuck.

Prince: No. No. Stop. You’re a beautiful, beautiful man…

Weill (dolefully): Uh-uh. I’m so fat. I’m so damn fat…

Prince (reaching across bison carpaccio to hold Weill’s arm): That’s not true. That’s a silly, stupid lie!

Weill (bashfully): Do you really mean it?

Prince: No one looks better in double-breasted with wide-lapels, Sandy…

Weill (hopefully): Oh you!

Prince: No. No, Sandy. You.

Weill: Oh gosh, I feel so awkward…

Prince: You never have to feel that way around me.

Weill: But also…I feel better.

Prince:: How about a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity?

Prince: You know me so well!

And Scene.

Yesterday Maria Bartiromo, uhm, scored with a top Citigroup executive.

Sorry. Scratch that.

Yesterday Maria Bartiromo scored an exclusive interview with former Citigroup CEO Sandy Weill. There was a bit of a double news hook for the interview. Yesterday Citigroup had revealed in its annual report that the Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating the bank’s accounting and tax reserves related to its $31 billion purchase in 2000 of Associates First CapitalThere. Sandy was chairman in those days, so Maria and co-host Dylan Ratigan asked him some questions. Which he totally declined to respond to. It was all no comment this, and I haven’t read the annual report that. This was actually kind of newsmaking. The world learned that Sandy Weill, the man who built Citigroup, doesn’t read the annual reports right away and doesn’t watch the daily movements of the stock prices.

The other alleged news hook for the interview was some sort of charity thing involving schools. Someone won an award. Maybe it was Sandy. Snore.

But apparently nobody but us paid attention to anything as esoteric as what happened in the interview. It was all just jaw-dropping amazement that CNBC, or Citigroup, or Sandy Weill or Maria Bartiromo had the gall or the guts or something else to set up this interview in light of the recent questions about the propriety of Bartiromo’s possibly compromising relationships with Citigroup executives.

TVNewser’s anonymous sources give voice to the shocked masses:

An longtime CNBC viewer wrote to TVNewser: “Have they lost all ethical thought and reason in Englewood Cliffs? I sat there with a stunned look on my face the whole time the interview was going on.”

“Why shouldn’t she do the interview? She did nothing wrong,” a CNBC insider responded…

> Update: 9:35pm: “Just the hint of scandal makes the interview stupid from a P.R. point of view. Why risk credibility with viewers by giving the interview to Bartiromo?,” an e-mailer adds…

Ex-Citigroup CEO Weill Declines To Comment On SEC Probe [CNBC]

Bartiromo Interviews Former Citi CEO [TVNewser]