Dealbreaker

Entry: Citi Will Not Tolerate Your Tardy Ass, But C-on-C Violence Is A-Okay (Update)

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 17, 2009 3:49PM

"Boss puts the guy in a chokehold and drops him to the floor[.]"

Are we sure this wasn't Vikram giving one of his epic bear hugs in sorrow of a fellow Citi employee getting bounced?

Entry: Write-Offs: 06.17.09

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 17, 2009 7:15PM

Her lips look like thin, ziplock bags full of jello. Poor Falcone.

Entry: You Want Some Gold With That Twix Bar?

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 18, 2009 11:24AM

"We're going to put them in places like Russia, and the boys are not exactly demure over there."

Maybe one of the better quotes I've ever heard.

Entry: UPDATE: Tim Geithner Is IN NO WAY LOBBYING FOR BEN BERNANKE'S JOB, Making Jokes At Bernanke's Expense, Says Treasury

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 18, 2009 12:58PM

Imagining Meg reading through the comments from the previous post made my day. E.g.,

"20 Posted by guest, Jun 18, 2009 12:27PM

Why is there a shark pounding my secretary in the ass with a $5 footlong?"

& this triple play,

"8 Posted by guest, Jun 18, 2009 12:00PM

I miss Bald. Bald and Beard were a great team." --- "10 Posted by guest, Jun 18, 2009 12:01PM

@8- right? they were such a good couple." --- "12 Posted by guest, Jun 18, 2009 12:02PM

@8 any chance they'll get back together?"

Entry: What We Can Learn From Mayor Bloomberg About Golf

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 18, 2009 2:47PM

2 legit, 2 legit 2 quit.

Entry: The Next Mortgage Mess

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 18, 2009 3:35PM

Please, respect. Lon Varney.

Entry: This Is Why You Just Got Fired From Barclays

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 24, 2009 11:22AM

Citi - the entire G-line. Always slow, random, and never gets you out of hell (see: Brooklyn (and yes, I know it goes to LIC, but really...)).

BAC - Halsey, L-line. It's in the middle of fucking no where, and one of the few areas in NYC where people still make you reach for your toes and squeal like a piggly-wiggly (while stealing your wallet, of course).

Entry: Twitter To Give Hedge Funds That Extra Edge?

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 24, 2009 12:31PM

10,

hah, thebeardabides.

It most certainly does.

Entry: What You Got?

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 24, 2009 5:17PM

Sasha or Yan? He'll know what's up.

Entry: Write-Offs: 06.24.09

posted by Lowly Assistant

Jun 24, 2009 5:37PM

All-Caps Wharton is bababack!

Entry: Lloyd Blankfein Can't Believe You Took That Taibbi Article Seriously

posted by Lowly Assistant

Aug 20, 2009 5:16PM

The most amazing Dealbreaker picture of all time. It still boggles my mind how Bess snuck that camera in her purse. Unbelievable.

Entry: Get Ready

posted by Lowly Assistant

Aug 20, 2009 5:41PM

What I want to know is where the fuck can you buy green tin foil?

Entry: Get Ready

posted by Lowly Assistant

Aug 20, 2009 5:57PM

2,

That's straight tunnel-traffic. No handbridge necessary.

4,

Chuck Daly says, "Hop in the shower, you fucking bum."

Entry: WSJ: Bruce Wasserstein Is Dead

posted by Lowly Assistant

Oct 14, 2009 5:01PM

Muffie,

Condolences.

-LA

Entry: WSJ: Bruce Wasserstein Is Dead

posted by Lowly Assistant

Oct 14, 2009 5:30PM

NS,

Hiding out as Jeff Macke, here and there.

Don't think I didn't note the Handbridge Capital fund these last few months. When are we getting the "receipt guy's" draft of your quarterly letter?

Entry: You Tell Us What He's Trying To Say

posted by Lowly Assistant

Oct 15, 2009 11:17AM

Google translation: "Allow me to expose my colon once again. The ramification inflicted on the incision placed within the Fallopian cavities serves to be holistic taken from the Latin word 'jalapeno.'"

Entry: Alan Greenspan Recommends A Small Change For Big Banks

posted by Lowly Assistant

Oct 15, 2009 12:35PM

Making a difference, one click at a time (which is to say, enlarge).

http://copyranter.blogspot.com/2009/10/latest-from-american-apparels-crack-ad.html

Entry: Charlie Gasparino Does It Sans Sleeves

posted by Lowly Assistant

Nov 09, 2009 3:11PM

As a resident of Stuy town, I can confirm Charlie's use of Sarge's awning as a substitute for resistance parachute training.

I've also seen him kill a man with a pimento, for what it's worth.

-Customer de la Yan

Entry: Charlie Gasparino Does It Sans Sleeves

posted by Lowly Assistant

Nov 09, 2009 7:29PM

46,

I hope your first-born never learns to read.